Idle American: Bleeps and No-Bleeps

The czar enforcing the edict was viewed to be the toughest, most unforgiving figure this side of Boot Hill, forever scanning the airwaves for verbal improprieties. Findings were then “microscoped” by the all-powerful Federal Communications Commission in Washington, DC.

Seems like the FCC gang — if there still is one — has been absent lately, or at least “lax to the max.” Within the past few days, the worst of the four-letter shockers came from the lips of TNT sports announcers as well as the President of the United States.

Here’s the most shocking part.  The TNT guys got by with it, but the utterance by the 47th President of the United States was bleeped!

Of the two references, the President deserves a lighter coat of tar and fewer feathers, but whoever was in charge of bleeps during his TV remarks did his duty. President Trump — fatigued as he likely was from all the matters he’s been directing lately — is likely to be forgiven by a majority of his subjects. In fact, the bleeper who saved the presidential bacon may be up for promotion.

The TNT foul-up occurred during the sign-off of the network’s telecast of NBA games. Host Ernie Johnson deserved a classier exit. He reflected on his years with warmth and appreciation.

Shaquille O’Neal, on the other hand, pulled no punches concerning the take-over by ESPN/ABC, since he is now out of a job.

He spewed the epithet with clarity and force. Kenny Smith, another member of the foursome, seconded the motion with the same profane expression.

There is much wrong with our world, and I realize that use of profanity pales when compared with ever-present life or death issues. Still, our mothers’ threats to wash our mouths out with soap if she heard bad words are etched in memories.

Speaking of “wrongs,” troubling policies of the National Collegiate Athletic Association are raising the ire of rank-and-file folks. The NCAA letters still “fit,” but clearly now stand for National Cash Athletic Association. Yep, “cash” now seems more important than “collegiate,” at least for a couple of dozen major colleges. Others are struggling to keep pace.

New policies — including pay-for-play for a smidgen of players and multi-million dollar contracts for a handful of coaches — are a disgrace.

I greatly prefer athletics in perspective (as was the initial intent of all colleges and universities). I can’t imagine why most higher education institutions — particularly smaller colleges and specifically private ones — aren’t applying in droves for membership in the National Association of Intercollegiate Athletics (NAIA).

For upcoming weeks, I’ll have time to research intercollegiate athletics in depth, since for the foreseeable future, I’ll be the recipient of caregiving instead of the provider.

A surgeon well-known for correcting drooping eyelids has been engaged to work his magic on my left eyelid. I am confident that I’ll emerge victorious and “wide-eyed” again.

Additional research is planned for numerous advertising claims that are tossed around with abandon.

One concerns those rain gutters with unconditional, unending guarantees that are fully transferable. Have you ever heard of a home buyer asking, “Now I’d like to see a copy of your rain gutter guarantee?”   

And what about garden hoses, guaranteed to be forever compliant with all the claims made? Oh, there’s more.

Whatever, I’m taking leave from writing after more than 22 years. My plan is to resume weekly columns come September. I’ll close by quoting the late Elston Brooks, longtime entertainment editor of the Fort Worth Star-Telegram. On his final column before taking annual vacations, he’d write something like, “I’m taking off two weeks for vacation. Please notice I didn’t say well-deserved vacation.”

Dr. Newbury, a longtime speaker, may be contacted at 817-447-3872 or newbury@speakerdoc.com. At website www.speakerdoc.com, he reads his columns aloud, sometimes without stumbling.