Austin in crosshairs

The arrival of the football-playing Coleman triplets at the University of Texas in Austin for 2025’s fall semester may break several records before they even meet BEVO, the Longhorns’ beloved mascot.

When have three guys weighing a half-ton ever played as teammates in any collegiate sport, anywhere?

Stars at Cedar Hill High School, seniors Isaiah, 6-2, 260; Devin, 6-4, 340, and Jordan, 6-5, 350, together are only 50 pounds shy of 1,000 pounds right now. If they exceed the “freshman 15” by just 10 percent, they’ll weigh a half-ton when they gather ‘round the Thanksgiving table next year. (If “freshman 15” warrants explanation, that’s the average number of pounds freshmen gain during colleges’ first semester while dining in the cafeteria they complain about.)

Many of us--admitted “sports nuts”--are often unsure about much, but don’t let our uncertainties lessen our frequent outcries.

I’m off the fence, ready to join football fans who are groaning about the sad effects of instant replay, and the ongoing efforts to “get calls right.”

How much did both teams lose in Fort Worth recently when the most exciting final two-minutes were marred by a delay of four minutes and 35 seconds to determine whether a  fumble occurred? Bands often complete halftime shows in this time span. The University of Central Florida eked out a win in the final seconds over the Texas Christian University Horned Frogs, who blew a three-touchdown lead.

Maybe it is a weak segue from football to the Texas State Fair, where a judge has ruled that only peace officers will be allowed to bear firearms on the fairgrounds during its three-week run.

Who can predict? There’ll probably be squabbles at the fair on this very topic. However, shoot-outs should be minimized.

I rarely think of state fairs without recalling a yarn heard years ago. At one fair, long lines waited to board the Ferris Wheel, which often had seats shared by riders who’d never seen each other previously. One night, the wheel lurched to a stop, allowing one couple to exit and another to board. At the top of the wheel, one guy says, “Ten years ago tonight, I became enraged when the wheel stopped with me at the top. I pummeled a fellow rider whom I’d never seen. My final shove sent him falling into the night, seriously injured. I have spent the past decade in a mental institution; I was released just today.” The other man, cowering in his side of the seat, whimpered, “I remember you.”

Referencing Dallas at this time brings to mind the sudden resignation of Dallas Police Chief Eddie Garcia, whose three-year-plus tenure in “Big D” has been widely lauded, with “best ever” plaudits expressed by many. (He’s going to Austin to become Assistant City Manager to T. C. Broadnax, who formerly was Garcia’s boss in Dallas before Broadnax signed on as Austin City Manager a few months ago.) At the time, Garcia said he would “run through a wall” for Broadnax.

I don’t recall ever reading or hearing so many positive comments about the departure of a public servant, particularly in a major city. One such commentary was provided by the Dallas Morning News’ Sharon Grigsby, one of the Metroplex’s finest writers.

In one sentence, she captured the essence of the views of thousands: “How many folded flags can a police chief hand to a grieving family before he has had enough?”

It is a foregone conclusion that the world is awash in rage, controversy, strife and much other muck. One is sports-oriented, and until recent years, didn’t even come to mind outside of golf circles.

I’m talkin’ about the PGA vs. LIV golf kerfuffle.

David Feherty--a player, then a broadcaster for almost a half-century--claims that the “whole LIV vs. PGA Tour thing is like two fleas arguing about who owns a dog.”

Dr. Newbury, longtime university president, continues to speak and write. The Idle American, begun in 2003, is one of the nation’s longest-running syndicated humor columns. Contact: 817-447-3872. Email: newbury@speakerdoc.com. Website: www.speakerdoc.com.